Setting goals is easy — reaching them is hard

You’ve probably tried to make your life better. You made a real effort to make things better with your partner, but the relationship is pretty much the same.

You tried many different diets, but none of them worked. You tried to improve your job situation, but that produced poor results.

As much as 85 percent of the time, people’s efforts to change fail. The problem is that it’s impossible to see improvement. You decide that you’re going to be nice to your spouse, and they still criticize you.

You go to the gym, but when you come home your body looks the same. You eat really well one day, but don’t lose a pound. You’re helpful to co-workers, but they still have bad attitudes.

No wonder you gave up. Clearly nothing you tried works. Well, not in the short run. It takes weeks — even months — to see real improvement. Thomas Edison put it well: “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

But you can be one of those who succeed. The key is to turn your efforts into a set of habits.

Psychologists at Duke University looked at the importance of timing and environment in establishing habits. People who already had stable routines in other aspects of their life found adding new rituals was simple. Because they didn’t need to think about their usual routine, they were able to plug in new behaviors without a great deal of mental energy.

The researchers looked at what happens to people trying to introduce new behaviors when their circumstances are continually changing. She discovered that the rate of failure for creating a habit rose significantly. For example, people who took walks outdoors in the warm weather had difficulty sustaining their exercise routine when winter arrived and they had to start exercising indoors. People whose schedule changed from day to day typically dropped out of efforts to establish an exercise routine.

The research revealed five important facts for making improvements:

• Successful change requires creating daily habits.
• Habits are contingent on environmental cues, i.e. same place/same time.
• Establishing habits requires people remind themselves of the benefits they’ll eventually get if they keep at it.
• Success is sustained if people are scrupulous about sticking to routines, e.g. exercising will continue even after the target weight has been attained if circumstances remain constant.
• Habits do not change to meet current goals; they remain linked to the environment in which they were created, e.g. flossing in your bathroom at home may not transfer to a hotel room when you’re on vacation.

The bottom line: The Duke studies on habits show that people who maintain rituals in their everyday life struggle far less than those who have to decide when and where to perform a new behavior.

When you start to change your behaviors, you’ll want to turn actions into habits as quickly as you can. Ideally, you’ll want to pick a time when you can perform the new behavior without interruption at the same time every day. Write the time in your schedule book or put in into your phone.

To get yourself motivated, create a clear picture in your mind of the results you want to achieve. See yourself reaping the rewards of having reached your goal. Imagine the great feelings you’ll have when you are experiencing the benefits of having the healthy and happy life that you so strongly desire. Write this mouthwatering description down so that you can refer to it whenever you need to remind yourself why you’re being diligent about cultivating your new habit.

The next step to success is to struggle through the first few weeks. You’ll fail to stick to your plan. Oh well, no mistakes — only lessons. Ask yourself what you need to do to be able to make a different decision tomorrow. Tell yourself, for example, “If I’m hitting the snooze button, then I’ll put the alarm on the other side of the room.”

The transition from a goal to a habit occurs when actions are repeated enough times to become automatic so they longer require agonizing over whether to do them or not.

While you won’t see immediate results, your healthy habits will pay off. Exercise most days and your body will be healthier. Eat a little less and you’ll weigh less. Be nice to people and they’ll become friendlier.