To Reach a Goal, Forget the Goal

Perhaps the biggest potential pitfall of concentrating too much on goals is this: It often ties your self-worth to things that you cannot control. Imagine that unprecedented weather conditions strike on race day, preventing you from finishing your Ironman triathlon. Or that the boss who was going to promote you becomes ill and retires. Or that you write what you believe to be the perfect manuscript, but the publishing house feels differently. Do these events make you a failure?

If you judge yourself based on whether or not you accomplished your goal, then, unfortunately, the answer is yes. Becoming a slave to the achievement of a specific goal creates a volatile and fragile sense of self.

This isn’t to say that you should completely disregard goals. Goal setting can serve as an effective steering mechanism, a north star to shoot for. But after you set a goal, it’s best to shift your focus from the goal itself to the process that gives you the best chance of achieving it; and to judge yourself based on how well you execute that process.

Focus on the Process Instead

Focusing on the process means breaking down a goal into its component parts and concentrating on those parts. It’s an incredible focusing mechanism that keeps you in the here and now, even during the pursuit of distant goals. For Martinez, this meant not worrying about her bad luck in the 800m, but rather ensuring she got in the right nutrition, bodywork, sleep, and workouts to give herself the best chance of running a good race in the 1500m. Again: She wasn’t focused on making the Olympics. She was focused on the process of making the Olympics.

This mind-set can be applied to any goal — from qualifying for the Olympics, to earning a promotion in the workplace, to improving a relationship: First, set a goal. Next, figure out the steps to achieving that goal that are within your control. Then — (mostly) forget about the goal, and focus on nailing the steps instead.

A process mind-set creates daily opportunities for little victories, which help sustain the motivation required to accomplish long-term goals. A handful of studies, including one in the prestigious journal Nature, provide insight into why this is the case. Researchers have found that when mice accomplish micro objectives on the path to distant goals (e.g., making a correct turn in a maze), their bodies release dopamine, the neurochemical associated with motivation and drive. Without hits of dopamine, the mice become apathetic and give up. Although these studies cannot be safely replicated in humans, scientists speculate we operate the same way. Process promotes progress, and progress, on a neurochemical level, primes us to persist.

Even more important than what it does for our motivation, focusing on the process cultivates what University of Quebec psychology professor Robert J. Vallerand calls “harmonious passion.” Harmonious passion is characterized by a deep intrinsic motivation, a love for doing the work involved in achieving a goal. It’s the opposite of what Vallerand refers to as “obsessive passion,” or being motivated by and attached to the external recognition that achieving a goal might bring. Harmonious passion is embracing and relishing in the process of getting better at a given pursuit. Obsessive passion is becoming a slave to the achievement of goals for achievement’s sake. Vallerand has shown that while the latter is linked to burnout, anxiety, dissatisfaction, and depression, the former is linked to long-term performance, well-being, and fulfillment.

Perhaps the reason for this difference is that focusing on the process ensures that one’s self-worth does not hinge on the kind of uncontrollable events mentioned earlier, such as getting tripped in an Olympic qualifying event. Knowing you put in the work, that you gave something your all, breeds a special kind of confidence, fullness, and contentment that no one can take away from you. In her book Presence, New York Times–best-selling author and Harvard Business School psychology professor Amy Cuddy writes that focusing on the process “leaves you with a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, regardless of the measurable outcome.”

Cuddy says that this mind-set lends itself to presence, which she defines as the ability to be in the moment, confident but not arrogant. When it comes to achieving your goals, perhaps it is this kind of presence, fostered through process, and embodied by Brenda Martinez, that is the most critical asset of all.