Are you a goal setter? I bet you probably are, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this.
I’ve been a huge fan of goals for over 20 years. It’s mostly been a positive and uplifting experience. But there are certainly pitfalls or dark sides to goal setting. And one trap of goal setting is this so-called “If Only I” syndrome that we can so easily fall into.
It’s when we attach too much of our happiness and wellbeing to the result or outcome of our goals, thinking “if only I reach this goal, I’d be totally happy and my life would be great forever.”
About two years ago, I was finally able to run a 5k, which had been a goal for me for a very long time. Surprisingly, on the day I did it, I felt nothing special. Nothing very exciting or out of the ordinary. It just felt like pretty much any other runs I had done before.
This can happen quite often to many goals in our life. We may no longer be easily fooled by the promise of reaching a certain goal, no matter how great or exciting it may seem at first.
If we could detach much of our happiness and craving from our goals, we would focus more on the journey and enjoy more of the process. Then in the end, regardless if we reach our goal or not, we will always be a winner.
As you go through your day today, remind yourself to avoid the “if only I” trap.
Harry
